Series of Songfics
by Blurayne
Summary: A collection of songfics about the members of Ouran. All pairings apply.
1. I'm gonna love you through it

I decided I would do a series of songfics based on songs people give me. This song was suggested by my friend and I decided to write an albeit short songfic about it. So if you like it and would like me to continue, review and send me a new song and I will write a songfic using that song.

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><p><strong>Song: I'm gonna love you through it by Martina McBride<strong>

The phone's ringing echoed throughout the house, her brown eyes staring straight into mine. This was the call we had been waiting for after a month of agonizing testing we would finally know. Our three kid's were running around outside as she picked up the phone. I watched her face crumple as she dropped the phone and cried out falling to the floor. I gathered her in my arms as we sat clutched together on the cold tiled floor of our kitchen. I wiped her tears with my fingers.

"I don't want to die." She said as my tears began to fall.

"It will all be okay." I replied.

I sat in the waiting room clutching my kid's hands as we waited for the news. It had been so hard on Haruhi watching her grow weaker and weaker. Her hair falling out the knowledge that everyday could be her last. I was the rock that held the family together as we fought against death. I had taken leave from work and became Mr. Mom taking care of the kid's and making sure Haruhi was going to live through the cancer. The doctor came out and surveyed the room finally spotting us huddled together.

"She's fine." He said, "We had to take more than anticipated, but she's going to live." I smiled up at him my body flooding with relief.

We took her home after a few weeks of rest and rehabilitation. I could tell she was upset but I chalked it up to surgery and too much stress. I was feeding our newest addition to the family, when she came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I could feel her tears soaking through my shirt. Turning around I gathered her in my arms.

"What's wrong?" I questioned

"I can't do this anymore. How can you possibly love me when I'm not whole." She answered crying harder.

"I'll love you forever. Nothing can change that. I don't care if you lose all your limbs you're still you. You're still Haruhi."

Sometimes she still get's in one of her moods but she knows how much everyone loves her through it all. No matter how many bad days and good days there are nothing will ever take away how much we love each other.


	2. Mr Curiosity

Thanks missindependent600 for recommending the song. As you can see some chapters vary in length I know the 1st one was a little short but this one has 2x more words so that's some progress on my part XP. If you want me to continue writing please send me a review with a song and I will do my best to write a long one-shot for you. Thanks!

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><p>Song: Mr. Curiosity by Jason Mraz<p>

_July 6th, 2013_

_We had been married for a year now and he still found ways to confound me. I was used to his long hours at work and his little ways of showing his affection. Like bringing home flowers or taking me out for a picnic. It really was the little things. However, this was the ultimate surprise. He had been cheating on me with Renge. I never thought he would be the type of person to cheat on anyone. Let alone let anyone get to him the way I did, or at least I thought I had. Yet, I still wanted him. I didn't care that he had rejected me for another or that he found out that I wasn't good enough for him. So I sat here, on our huge bed, the one I thought was the perfect size. It was too big for one person, it was eating me alive. The phone cradled in my hands, begging him to call me back, before I went crazy with despair._

_July 8th, 2013_

_Honestly, I was jealous of Renge, she was beautiful, talented, and rich. She was more fun then I was. I worked all the time and we had barely seen each other except to have breakfast every morning or the occasional dinner out. I thought we understood that we both had dreams we wanted to accomplish. I didn't realize he was unsatisfied. How could I even think I could hold on him? It was an impossible task and I didn't blame him for leaving. No I blamed her, I was so jealous that she had everything I needed to make him love me. The funny thing was I thought that bitch was my friend. After she had sobbed on my shoulder when her dad died and we had spent so many hours together shopping for frivolous clothing._

_January 25th, 2018_

_When I got the news, I wanted to pretend that it was all a joke that he wasn't crushing my heart. I tried to tell him we could work it out, that he didn't have to leave. Yet he had kept packing his suitcase, stuffing shirt after shirt into the box that would carry him away. I remember clutching the Christmas sweater I had bought him a month ago with all my might. Like, if he couldn't pack it he wouldn't be able to leave but he did and I still have that sweater. All I wanted was him to love me more than her. Was it too much to ask? I'm still waiting for the answer, even now after five years. Being patient has never been a problem for me. I haven't changed anything in this house. The bed looks the same as the last time he slept in it. The sheets still tangled, pillow wet with tears. The furniture covered in a fine layer of dust now. No one is allowed in that room, it is the only thing left of my old life and if anyone changed it, this would really mean that he left me._

_Febuary 4th, 2038_

_The host club came over today, minus Kyoya to celebrate my 50th birthday. Honey brought a three layer chocolate cake just looking at it made me sick. It's nice of them to try, but I just feel no inspiration to live my life anymore. It's like just smiling is splitting my head open. Everything is colorless and bland, like me. I still pretend that he's here waiting in the next room for me to enter and everything will be like it never happened. I like to imagine that he still loves me and she just won't let him go. I like to fantasize that he is lost on some deserted island trying desperately to find me. But none of those things are true. He is in his new house, with his new wife, and their two children smiling and loving her, the way he never loved me._

_May 12th, 2038_

_I sold the house a week ago. It got too big and I just couldn't stand another minute of my life spent in a tomb, covered by his things. I couldn't bear to look at another picture of us smiling every time I entered a room. Love had blinded me from continuing to live my life, and sure I'm older now but I still have time. At least I put myself out there in the first place. Sure it didn't work out, but at least I tried._

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><p>Btw for some reason fan-fiction is refusing to let me underline every date and write the name of the song. Sry bout that.<p> 


	3. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

**Sadly, I've basically given up on this collection of songfics because obviously there is a lack of reviews. I really need people to suggest songs if y'all want me to continue updating and adding chapters. I just want this collection to be really fun and enjoyable to people. Otherwise, I'll pursue other things with my time spent being sad about this story. Thanks!**

**~Bluerayne~**


	4. Grenade

_Thanks to loves2readandwrite for suggesting this chapter's (and the next 1's) song. I know this chapter is incredibly short but trust me the next one is like two pages long and I'm not even done it yet. I just wanted to post this one so y'all wouldn't have to wait forever for me to update. Alright enough of my yapping enjoy the chapter._

_Btw: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club _

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><p>Song: Grenade by Bruno Mars<p>

HikaruxKarou

We had always been there for each other. There was never a second when we weren't apart and I would do anything to protect him from the pain of this world, including giving up my happiness to ensure his. As much as I loved Hikaru, I had accepted reality and the fact that to him our act was only that an act. He was in love with Haruhi, and it was my job to make sure that he won her heart. I didn't mind the fact that Hikaru was a taker, I was his twin, and I was expected to give. To give him my heart, my things, my happiness and he would take it all, never thanking me for any of that. Just seeing him smile was thanks enough for me. I just couldn't give enough to him.

As we had grown and developed, we had explored many areas of, to be blunt, sex together but Hikaru had quickly spurned the idea before we ever even got undressed. The first kiss was enough to disgust him, unlike me who only yearned for more. I was not enough for him but Haruhi was. It was her lips he wanted on his, her arms wrapped around his waist not mine. I had given him everything I had to offer and yet he didn't want it, but that didn't stop me from loving him. I would go through all the pain in the world to make sure Hikaru had what he wanted.

Once they were together I thought it would be okay. Hikaru was happy and I could hopefully move on. That was not the case, if anything I grew angrier at the world each day. I grew sick watching them laugh and talk together. I felt like I was dying, but I still refused to let Hikaru know how much I loved him. Until, he confronted me about my odd behavior. He told me that despite the fact that he was with Haruhi we were still brothers and he loved me.

It was such a lie. If he had loved me he would have abandoned her long ago, he would have been by my side not hers. I had been through the unthinkable, and yet he didn't even bat an eye. If this was love it was too much pain to bear. I would die in order to make sure my brother could be happy, and that's just what I did.

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><p>Thanks for reading! I cannot stress enough please please please review and suggest a song.<p>

~Bluerayne


	5. Rolling in the Deep

_Warning: BOYXBOY if you don't like don't read it! Huge shout out to love2readandwrite for suggesting the song for this chapter. Rolling in the Deep is such an amazing song by an incredible artist and I'm really I got to write a chapter based on this song. _

_Disclaimer:I do not own OHSHC _

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><p>Song Rolling in the Deep by Adele<p>

TamakixKyoya

They were the sons of two of the most prominent men in the business world. They had a responsibility to carry on the family name and eventually take over their father's corporations, but none of that was as important as each other or so he had thought.

_There's a fire starting in my heart_

He was the shadow king, cold, manipulative, evil and unlovable. Whilst Tamaki was the golden prince, charming, caring, perfect, and quite frankly as sexy as hell. Kyoya had known for about 3 months he was attracted to the king of the host club but he never expected anything to happen between them. No, he was fine with just sneaking glances at the man who had captured his attention. Lately though, even looking at Tamaki made him feel like there was a fire in him; burning hotly with desire. He wanted Tamaki in every sense of the word but he had no idea how to get him.

_Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark _

It was an off day for the host club, yet Kyoya had come in to take care of some last minute expenses and of course Tamaki just had to be there. Stopping his rhythmic typing, he excused himself to the bathroom yet again, Tamaki's inquisitive purple eyes staring at his back. He leaned against the sink splashing hot water on his face but it still didn't elevate his pain. Only Tamaki could cause the pain to go away. At times, he didn't care what the consequences were he just wanted the blonde haired boy beneath him screaming out his name until they were both sated. So what if they both regretted it in the morning? Wasn't it worth being satisfied for the first time in his life? For now, he had to deal with a much more pressing matter throbbing against his thigh.

Tamaki followed his friend's retreating back with his big luminous eyes, finally ripping his gaze away when the door shut behind him. He loved watching Kyoya walk, his legs were sculpted like a god and his ass was a whole other story.

He had come in today to spend time with his best friend. They hadn't been alone for awhile now and he thought they should catch up. But, Kyoya had only been cold and standoffish to him and he kept getting up to go to the bathroom. Had he found out Tamaki's feelings? He had only just figured it out himself. He had to know now he said to himself as he made his way to the bathroom. He opened the bathroom door slowly and immediately saw Kyoya's hand wrapped around his erection. His face was flushed and sweaty; his heavy breathing echoed throughout the bathroom as he took care of himself.

_Finally I can see you crystal clear. _

Kyoya froze as the door swung open revealing Tamaki. He could read the uncertainty and hope in Tamaki's eyes as he stared flabbergasted at Kyoya's erection. Tamaki was having some trouble himself; he didn't know how to react and the lower portion of his body was really not helping. There were two choices and both filled him with dread because if he was wrong he could ruin everything. Tamaki walked towards his black-haired friend and captured his lips with his own.

_Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare_

Of course he was afraid. Afraid that Kyoya would push him away and reject him. Afraid that he would see the disgust shining brightly in those cold black eyes he loved so much. Afraid, that he would be used and then left like trash. But it was worth the risk to quench his desires. He wasn't disappointed when Kyoya kissed back. His tongue quickly invading Tamaki's mouth playing for dominance.

_See how I'll leave with every piece of you_

Tamaki wrapped his legs around Kyoya's waist as Kyoya smashed him against the cold blue and white tiled wall. Kyoya's hands were everywhere, roaming over his chest, tangled in his thick blonde locks, caressing his face one minute and stripping of his pants the next. The door swung open as they made their way to the couch, falling on it swiftly. Kyoya's body pressed on top of Tamaki's as they continued kissing. Kyoya flung off his shirt and started kissing a trail down to Tamaki's throbbing member. This is what Kyoya had been waiting for, and now that it was happening he would do everything in his power to make sure Tamaki went through with the act.

_Don't underestimate the things that I will do_

_There's a fire starting in my heart_

_Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark _

Tamaki was moaning under Kyoya his body begging for release, but Kyoya was taking it slowly enjoying Tamaki's groans of pleasure. "Kyoya," he panted, "Do it now." Kyoya quickly stripped Tamaki and himself, the skinny blonde writhed beneath him as he took him in his mouth. Tamaki screamed out Kyoya's name, wrapping his slender finger's in his hair. It didn't take long for Tamaki to reach his breaking point and then Kyoya was in him, pumping furiously. Kyoya came inside Tamaki and collapsed on top of him. Tamaki curled up beside Kyoya getting as close to his lover's warmth as possible. "I love you." He whispered and Kyoya pulled him closer as he closed his eyes.

_The scars of your love remind me of us._

_They keep me thinking we almost had it all. _

Tamaki came in the next day ready to take on the world. He felt like he was on cloud-nine and nothing could bring him down. All his worries and fears had been alleviated now that he was with Kyoya. He wished he could shout it to the whole world but there would be far too many repercussions if he did. He would worry about his parents and their future later; today he just wanted to be happy. He walked into the host club, spotting Kyoya over by the table busy typing away as usual. He grabbed a chair and dragged it over to his lover. Kyoya looked down at him the sound of him pounding away on the keys momentarily stopped as he asked, "Can I help you?" Tamaki looked up him puzzled then shrugged Kyoya wasn't really the type to show affection.

"Not really." He replied.

"Well then can you leave? I have a lot of work to do." Kyoya answered and resumed typing. Tamaki's mood automatically dropped. After yesterday he thought that Kyoya would want to spend time with him but apparently not.

"Don't you want to be near me Mommy?"

Kyoya turned away from his computer and faced Tamaki, "Why on earth would I want to do that?"

"I..I thought after yesterday we were a..a couple."

Kyoya couldn't help but laugh, "A couple! Are you serious? Do you have any idea how problematic that would be for me? I thought you understood that what we did was only based on our bodies needs."

"You, you don't love me?"

"Love you? Tamaki we might be best friends but no more than that. Now, I have to get back to work." He replied turning back to his computer.

"You asshole," Tamaki screamed, "How could you do this to me? You thought you could just use me and everything would be fine! Fuck you Kyoya! Get the hell out of here! I never want to see you again!" He was in a rage, throwing everything near him at Kyoya. The black haired boy had no choice but to leave, as the door slammed shut Tamaki sunk to the ground sobbing.

_The scars of your love they leave me breathless._

_I can't help feeling we could have it all._

_Rolling in the deep._

_You had my heart and soul in your hand and you played it to the beat. _

_**A year later**_

The host club had been shut down after that day, but the host had still remained friends except for Tamaki and Kyoya. What had once been love had become a cold cordial silence, they never talked unless they had to and even when they did it was nothing but small talk. Tamaki was a shell of what he had been, his smiles no longer reached his eyes and he was much more cautious about life. Kyoya had become even more menacing (if that's possible) and had begun burying himself in work. Tamaki was reading the newspaper in the kitchen one morning while he ate his toast. The front page displayed the headline ,"Third Son of Yoshio Otori to be married next Saturday."

_Baby I have no story to be told._

_But I've heard one of you and I'm gonna make your head burn._

_Think of me in the depths of your despair._

_Making a home down there as mine sure won't be shared._

Kyoya hadn't wanted to marry, but it was necessary to become his father's successor just like breaking Tamaki's heart had been necessary. He had worked his whole life to take over his father's business; he couldn't just throw it away no matter what it cost. And the cost was steep, he hadn't had a good night's sleep since that night a year ago and he felt empty. Like a black pit had taken up his heart and he would never get it back. He had given up happiness to achieve a cold black chair behind a desk and a prominent name. It didn't seem like it was worth giving up the man he had loved, but it was the only thing he had ever wanted besides Tamaki. As he waited for his bride to walk down the aisle and take her place at his side, he realized he had made the wrong choice and now it was too late. If only he had never met the blonde-haired prince, he could have lived never knowing what joy was and here he was crying on his wedding day wishing it was the purple-eyed boy he was going to spend the rest of his life with.

_(Now I'm gonna wish you had never met me) _

_You had my heart and soul in your hand_

_(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)_

_But you played it, you played it, you played it to the beat_

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><p><em>Despite how sad the ending is I had an amazing time writing this. It was my first yaoi ever and I loved pushing myself. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. Please review and suggest a song. If you have the time to story alert you can write a two sentence review. Please forgive me for any grammar mistakes I type insanely fast so I usually miss some punctuation and such. Thanks so much guys!<em>

_~Bluerayne~_


	6. Rhythm of Love

**Thanks to KikiHitachiinTheOuranOtaku for suggesting this chapters song. Sorry I took so long to update it life has been pretty hectic but I promise I will post faster if y'all review. **

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><p>Song: Rhythm of Love by Plain White Tee's<p>

It was the night before she left for America. It was her dream to become a lawyer and not even I could hold her back. I still hadn't told her I loved her, I guess I just hadn't found the right moment to confess. But now, as I sat at her party pretending to be happy she was leaving, it seemed like nothing would ever happen if I didn't tell her now. I watched her laugh with the twins and dance with Hunny-senpai as the night wore on. She had done something to all of us and without her in our lives we weren't whole.

After she had opened all her farewell gifts and we had eaten the giant cake Hunny had brought over the rest of hosts left, then it was only us. She started cleaning up the plates and trash around the room silently as I stared at her slim figure. She had started to look more like a woman since I had graduated, which didn't help diminish my attraction for her. "Is something wrong Senpai?" she asked walking out from the kitchen and sitting down across from me on the couch. "Oh, no. I'm fine" I answer hesitantly. Half hoping she'll figure it out so I won't have to say it and be rejected.

"Are you sure? You know you can tell me anything." She replies, her giant brown eyes studying my face searching for the answer to her question, but she doesn't find it. I gather my courage and breach the short distance between us, "I've wanted to say this for a while but I just didn't know how. I..I love you Haruhi." I reply squeezing her hand. I don't know what to do if she says no, and at the same time that's the answer I have prepared myself for. "Tamaki you have horrible timing and you can be really dumb but I love you to." She answers smiling down at me. I smile back, ignoring the fact that she insulted me and capture her lips with mine.

They taste like the strawberry cake Hunny brought and it's a pleasant taste. I can feel my heart beating like a drum in my chest and I don't ever want this feeling to end. We stand as the kiss deepens and I thread my hands in her dark brown hair. When we break apart she grabs my hand and drags me to her bedroom. As we crash onto the bed a tangle of limbs I pause, "Are you sure?" I question.

She nods her head, "I'm leaving tomorrow for America, and I don't know when I'll be coming back, but we have tonight so let's make the most of it." She replies kissing me again and I sink into her love. The next morning comes the sunlight filters in through her window. I shake my head wondering if It was a dream but the bed creeks and I know it wasn't.

She's sitting on the edge of the bed pulling down a shirt over her head, "Haruhi." I whisper gently. As she turns around I notice the tears in her eyes. Pulling her closer she snuggles into my chest. "I love you Haruhi and I don't care how far apart we are I'll always be yours." I say wiping her tears away and kissing her on the forehead. She kisses me back, "I don't want to leave you." She answers but we both know she will.

I watch the plane fly away and I know she can't see me but I wave anyway. Despite the fact that we only spent one night together as a couple, I know love can accomplish anything and Haruhi may call me a hopeless romantic but I know she feels it to.

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><p><strong>Forgive me if the chars are a little OCC but I like how sweet this chapter is. If you want me to keep writing please suggest a song.<strong>

**Thanks**

**~Bluerayne **


	7. Somewhere only we know

**_Thanks soooo much to everyone who reviewed u guys have made me rly busy with all these song suggestions. This chapter's song was suggested by hituguyagirl545! I hope y'all like it. _**

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><p>Song: Somewhere only we know by Keane<p>

_I walked across an empty land  
>I knew the pathway like the back of my hand<em>_  
><em>

His whole life had been spent trying to be perfect; for society, for his friends and for his father. He became the person that all of these people expected him to be and hid his true self deep inside. The real him was trapped behind the mask and rarely if ever, came out. He was empty, cold, unfeeling, the Shadow King. With Haruhi it all changed. She saw behind the façade and looked deep into his heart. Haruhi knew that the real him wasn't the person he pretended to be. When they were together everything was different. Haruhi was the girl Kyoya wanted to marry, there was just one thing in his way. Expectations.

Kyoya's father hated Haruhi, she was not worthy of having captured his youngest, most brilliant son. If things went his way, and they would, those two would never get married. Kyoya knew what was more important in life and he wouldn't throw it away for some girl. He smiled coldly and called his son to his office. The raven-haired teen took a seat in a brown-colored suede chair facing his father. "Yes, father." He asked curiously.

"What's the relationship between you and Fujioka-san?"

Kyoya was taken aback, he and Haruhi had been trying to keep their relationship a secret for months now. He should have known his father would figure it out eventually. "We are dating."

"End it." His father replied dismissing Kyoya without waiting for an answer. Kyoya was frozen; he never thought his father would disapprove of the relationship. In fact, he thought his father would encourage him. Sure Haruhi was a commoner but she was smart and he knew she would become an amazing lawyer.

"Don't you think you should meet her first?" Kyoya questioned. This was the first time he had ever talked back, hell anyone had talked back to his father.

The chair slowly spun back to face him and his father looked like he was about to murder him, "How dare you question me! If you ever want my company you will sever all ties with this girl. I don't give a damn about your feelings. Get out."

Kyoya quickly stood and almost ran out of the room. He didn't know what to do. Haruhi made him feel alive and that he could be the person he really was but at the same time the whole purpose of his life had been to take over his father's empire. How was he supposed to give up one of them? Haruhi or the company? Love or success? Why was the world so cruel?

_Oh simple thing, where have you gone?  
>I'm getting old and I need something to rely on<br>_

Haruhi tired calling her boyfriend for the 5th time that night. He had said he would come over after he talked to his father over two hours ago and the thunderstorm was getting closer. More than that she was worried something had happened. Calling again she left another message on voicemail, "Kyoya, it's Haruhi. Please call me back. Love you, bye." Sighing she sank down onto her couch and took out her homework. After 5 minutes she realized it was hopeless, she couldn't do anything in this state, she was too worried about Kyoya. Her phone went off causing her to jump. "Hello this is Haruhi."

"Haruhi, it's Kyoya. I don't think I should come over."

"What's wrong did your fath…AH!"Haruhi screamed as the thunder echoed through her small apartment. She quickly crawled under her coffee table.

"Haruhi it's okay I'm coming." Kyoya answered before hanging up.

Haruhi shut the phone and held her hands to her ears trying to block out the sound of the storm. The door flung upon soon after and Kyoya stepped in. He grasped her arms and pulled her out from under the table and into his lap. He rubbed her back slowly as the storm continued and she soon forgot all about the danger. The only thing that mattered now was being like this with Kyoya. She had come to the conclusion that she loved him weeks ago but she didn't want to be the first to say it. "Kyoya what did your dad say?" She asked once the thunder had stopped.

"Oh, I don't want to talk about it." Kyoya replied his hand freezing its previous motion.

_And if you have a minute, why don't we go  
>Talk about it somewhere only we know?<br>This could be the end of everything  
>So why don't we go somewhere only we know?<br>Somewhere only we know_

"Kyoya, you know you can tell me."

"Haruhi, don't concern yourself with it. I'll figure it out myself."

"Stop being so stubborn. I want to help you with your problems."

"Fine. He's making me choose between you and the company. Are you happy now?"

"What?" Haruhi half screamed half questioned.

Kyoya buried his head in his hands, "I can't do this. I can't choose."

"Maybe we shouldn't be together if you can't choose me." Haruhi replied sadly getting off the couch.

"What?" Kyoya replied lifting his head out of his hands and staring at her. "You don't mean that."

"Kyoya, I can't ask you to stay with me when you'll just be miserable if you do."

"I can't live without you though. I'll forget about my father, we can run away."

"That won't work Kyoya! Don't you see? This isn't a fairytale."

_Oh, this could be the end of everything  
>So why don't we go somewhere only we know?<br>Somewhere only we know  
><em>

Kyoya was crying now he didn't want to lose Haruhi. His dream wasn't complete without her didn't she see that. Yet, she was right he couldn't just forget about all the work he had done to make it a reality. He stood up and crossed over to Haruhi. He cradled his hands with her face and kissed her, his tears spilling onto her face. When they broke apart Haruhi wiped the tears from his cheeks, "I love you Kyoya."

Kyoya smiled, he was so dumb. The company couldn't make him feel the way he did when he was holding Haruhi. Money was cold and lifeless Haruhi was warm and bright. "I love you too Haruhi and I choose you. I will always choose you."

_Somewhere only we know_

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><p><strong><em>This was one of my fav chapters to write and I personally love the song. Keep reviewing and ur chapter will be up next. Btw if ur dying for me to do a certain song with a certain pairing put it in ur review and I will make it happen. I'm writing the next chapter now so if my creative juices are flowing it will be up late tonight or tom. <em>**

**_~Bluerayne_**


	8. I lost that war

_**This song was suggested by vrukalakos. Thanks so much for not only reviewing but introducing me to a brand new song. This one is shorter than the last but I still hope you enjoy it. **_

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><p>Song: I lost that war Jimmy Robbins ft. Alexz Johnson<p>

After the Ouran Ball I knew I had lost her. I saw how they looked together when the fireworks went off and I knew that the battle was over. He was prince charming and despite how stupid he was no one suited her better. They were the perfect complements to each other. He was dumb she was smart. He was a child she was an adult. He had too much energy she didn't have any. He was too obvious she was a puzzle. Yet, I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I could try to show her how worthy I was she would love me instead, but I was wrong. She would never love someone like me. I was so stupid to think she would. She will never look at me the way she looks at him. Love shining in her eyes, instantly animated when he walks in the room. I was a fool and now I'm a heartbroken fool.

I tell myself that I'm fine with them being together. Isn't the whole point to give up your happiness for the person you love? How could I have been so blind? I let her into my world when I should have kept her out. I thought things would be better. For once, someone could tell me and Kaoru apart. She understood who I was. With her the days were brighter, every burden I had was lighter I thought that was what love was. I never knew that I could hurt as much as I do now.

Since they've been dating I've spent every night crying myself to sleep. I don't eat, talk, or smile anymore. Even around Karou I am unresponsive. My whole world feels off balance and wrong. Nothing seems to matter anymore. The only feeling I have now is anger. I'm angry at the dumbass king and more importantly, myself. I'm angry at myself, for believing that I was better than Tamaki. That I could so easily beat him and win her heart, for putting myself out there and failing and now I am broken.

I thought that love could never be defeated. That once you found the person you were meant to be with nothing could stand in your way. I thought that love would protect me not stab me in the back. I thought that I could take that leap and love would be there to catch me but there was nothing there except the cold, sharp ground. Now I am crippled and unlovable. Even my brother has stopped trying to touch me.

This world I am in is lonely and mean. There is no happiness and no color here and the only person I have to blame is myself. I thought I could change it with her, but I was wrong. Now it has changed me. I never knew I could love so much, never thought my heart would crush, I lost that war. I lost that war.

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><p><em><strong>I was just wondering do you guys like it better when I put the song lyrics into the story or without them? Send me a review and suggest a song. Thanks!<strong>_

_**~Bluerayne**_


	9. Moment Like This

**This chapter is dedicated to 1andOnlyJanae thanks for suggesting the song! All the reviews have been amazing and have really inspired me as a writer. Btw if you guys haven't read my story Holding on you should go check it out and if enough ppl like it I might do a sequel. Okay enough of my rambling enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC **

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><p>Song: A Moment like this by Kelly Clarkson<p>

_What if I told you__  
><em>_It was all meant to be__  
><em>_Would you believe me,__  
><em>_Would you agree?_

I ran down the street away from my father, my breath huffing as I laughed. I kept looking behind me watching as my dad came closer and closer, my little legs pounding down the street. I could hear the screaming and the screech of tires as I turned my head to look forward and saw the car coming straight at me. I froze and saw my whole incredibly short existence flash before my eyes, until I was shoved to the side. My small fragile body getting scraped on the hard concrete and then the breath being driven out of me as someone landed on top. "Haruhi!" My dad screamed sprinting over to me and the kid on top of me. I groaned not able to formulate a response due to the weight on my chest. The kid rolled off me with a grunt and I opened my eyes slowly. He had short black hair; deep mud colored brown eyes, and was incredibly tall for a kid his age. I grabbed his hand as he pulled me up, it felt warm and like it was the perfect match to mine. "You saved my life." I said softly, smiling at him until my dad finally reached us and glomped me. When he finally set me down and stopped crying, the kid was gone and I didn't see him again until that day when I opened the door to music room 3.

_It's almost that feelin'__  
><em>_That we've met before__  
><em>_So tell me that you don't think I'm crazy__  
><em>_When I tell you love has come and now_

I instantly recognized him despite the fact that he was so much older. He was still incredibly tall and had the same mud-colored eyes as before. I owed my life to him and I would never forget how indebted I was. When I broke the vase, I knew it was meant to be. Our lives would be forever intertwined. Despite the affections placed upon on me by Tamaki and the twins I only had eyes for Mori, it was just a matter of getting him to fall in love with me. I knew Hunny was rooting for me the whole time; he was actually a lot smarter than everyone gave him credit for. Hunny and I had it all planned out he would see if Mori felt the same way about me and if he did, everything would be perfect, if not I would evaluate my other options.

It was finally time. The moment I had been waiting for all night, no all week, had arrived. Hunny had gotten the rest of the host club to leave us in the rose garden and now it was all up to me. "Mori-senpai, do you like me?" I asked quietly, staring at the floor waiting to hear the answer I needed. He grasped my chin and lifted my eyes to his. Without a word he kissed me.

_A moment like this__  
><em>_Some people wait a lifetime,__  
><em>_For a moment like this__  
><em>_Some people search forever,__  
><em>_For that one special kiss__  
><em>_Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me__  
><em>_Some people wait a lifetime,__  
><em>_For a moment like this_

It was better than all of my dreams. It's like our lips were molded for each other and I didn't care that I was losing all my oxygen. Rational thought stopped when he deepened the kiss and I felt like fireworks were going off in my body. I didn't care about the consequences, how the family might be broken up, or if my father would approve, the only thing that mattered was Mori's arms around me. If this was all happening in my head I never wanted to stop pretending.

_Everything changes__  
><em>_But beauty remains__  
><em>_Something so tender__  
><em>_I can't explain__  
><em>_Well I maybe dreamin'__  
><em>_But 'till I awake__  
><em>_Can we make this dream last forever__  
><em>_And I'll cherish all the love we share_

When we finally broke apart we were gasping for air. When I finally caught my breath I saw Mori wearing a huge grin on his face. It was one of the only times I had actually seen him smiling and I couldn't help but smile back. He grabbed my hand and we started dancing. There was no music but the sound of our heartbeats pulsing together. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my entire life. "I love you." I said as I reached up to kiss him again. He strengthened his hold on me as an answer and I knew his love was just as strong as mine. Nothing would ever keep us apart now that we were together. Not even death itself could separate us. I had waited my whole life to find the perfect person for me, and now I had. I knew how lucky I was to have him and I was never going to let go.

_Could this be the greatest love of all__  
><em>_I wanna know that you will catch me when I fall__  
><em>_So let me tell you this__  
><em>_Some people wait a lifetime_

_For a moment like this__  
><em>_Some people spent two lifetimes,__  
><em>_For a moment like this__  
><em>_Some people search forever,__  
><em>_For that one special kiss__  
><em>_Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me__  
><em>_Some people wait a lifetime,__  
><em>_For a moment like this_

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><p><strong>PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! I can't write the chapters wo song suggestions. Sorry for any grammar mistakes I tend to write pretty fast when I'm in my zone so I may tend to miss some. Luv you guys!**

**~Bluerayne**


	10. She Never Cried In Front Of Me

_**Thanks so much to ScentlessFlower12 for recommending this chapter's song! **_

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><p><em>She never cried in front of me- Toby Keith<em>

I was at work when it happened, my phone alarm went off and the bridal march began on the television. All the news channels were playing it. It was official- I could now move on with my life and go back to focusing on my business. I no longer had to spend nights blaming myself for making her unhappy; that would be his job now.

I watched with bated breath as her father walked her down the aisle. He was dressed as a woman this time- unlike our wedding. I guess the second wedding didn't require all the get up. Her dress was practically eating her, ruffles covered all her curves and made her appear smaller and weaker than she was. The news reporter was gushing about how beautiful she looked and how handsome the groom was but it all faded away as I watched transfixed on the lone tear sliding down her face as she took his hand. I couldn't help but feel sick when the reporter said Haruhi was crying she was so happy. Didn't these idiots see she was upset? In all honesty, how hard was it? All her emotions were written all over her face.

We had dinner together that night for the first week in a month. She was silent and was picking at her food which was highly unusual. She always had a story for me when we ate together even if it was menial she could always make me laugh.

"Is something wrong?" I asked laying down my fork and knife waiting for her answer.

"I…Well…um.." she cleared her throat, "I guess I'll just come out and say it. I can't do this anymore."

" What?"

"I'm so tired Kyoya not just physically but emotionally as well. I can't pretend that I'm happy anymore. " She answered. I was stunned I never expected that she was upset. She was always cheerful around me.

"Did I do something?"

"You're never home Kyoya, our schedules don't match up at all and I'm not just blaming you for this but you're always so tense and worried all the time. You're not the person I married anymore. "

"I can change Haruhi. I'll stop working so much."

"It won't work Kyoya. I'm sorry." She replied rising from the table.

"Just give me a chance. I didn't know you were so unhappy."

"That's the problem isn't it? You never noticed." I watched her leave silently. My food growing cold in front of me as the car rolled out of the driveway. As she rolled out of my life just like the way she had come rolling in.

It was only natural that I work late nights and through the holidays she knew that when we got married. She was busy with her career as well and we rarely saw each other expect when we ate the occasional dinner together. I didn't realize how much it was hurting her, she never told me, I never knew. Maybe I had changed once the deal was sealed. I was always a workaholic, but I had taken her out all the time when were dating. I wasn't so tense and curt to her before. Either way if she had only opened my eyes I would have changed. I would have done anything to make sure she never ended up with him. I was blindsided.

Once she had left I went over every last conversation we had had after we married. All the times she smiled at me. I never knew they were fake. She never once complained, I thought everything was perfect. We both had flourishing careers that we loved, we were financially secure, we had a gorgeous house, and we had the life that everyone wanted. Except I guess it was all a sham. How could I have been so blind as to not notice? I was supposed to know everything, I lived in the shadows. I was supposed to be all-knowing. I was the first to know she was a girl, the first to realize how much I loved her and the first to get her to love me in return.

I know now all the things I should have done. It's a long list in my mind that I constantly add to. Everything I could have said but didn't. All the things I could have bought to show my affections but walked past. All the kisses I should have placed upon her perfect lips. All the things that would have been in our future together. Now it's all gone and tomorrow it will still be gone. It will be gone forever, I screwed up and it hurts me. I was supposed to know, I was supposed to see all the signs and god damnit, I didn't I was blind. She never showed me! How was I supposed to see? She never cried in front of me.

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><p><em><strong>Please review! I can't write another chapter if no one recommends a song. Thanks so much guys!<strong>_

_**~Bluerayne**_


	11. Blown Away

_**Thanks so much to ScytheMeister88 for suggesting this chapter's song. The story does not take place in the usual setting just to warn y'all. This chapter was delightfully fun to write and I hope you enjoy it. **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC! **_

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><p>Blown Away-Carrie Underwood<p>

_Dry lightning cracks across the skies  
>Those storm clouds gather in her eyes<em>

_Her daddy was a mean old mister  
>Mama was an angel in the ground<br>_

It was another one of those nights spent huddling under the bed; blankets wrapped around her forming a make shift cocoon. The thunder boomed through her room, momentarily drowning out her father's screams as he raged in his drunken state. Whiskey bottles smashed to the floor with the crack of lighting, the glass shattered on the floor much like her life had shattered when her mother died. The glass could be swept up and thrown away and she could pretend like it had never happened but that wasn't true about her heart. Her dad the playful jolly soul she had once loved had died along with her mother. He had become a drunken mess, always cursing and wallowing in his pit of self-misery and depression. He had become mean and bitter and because he could not bear to blame himself for his wife's death he blamed it on the only other person around-his daughter.

_The weather man called for a twister  
>She prayed blow it down<em>

Outside the wind grew more savage rattling the cheap window panes, she wished they would break. She wished it would all break and the wind would take her away from the hell her life had become. She had no mother or father to love her. No friends that cared about her. No passion or drive for her life anymore, it was all pointless. She was lost amid the storm and the only thing left was anger. All she had was pure unfiltered rage for the man who had killed her mother. Yes, it was an accident but accidents can be prevented and he had done nothing but watch as the blood poured out of her body and formed an ocean of red soaking their hands in her mother's life. No amount of soap and water could ever make them clean.

_There's not enough rain in Oklahoma  
>To wash the sins out of that house<br>There's not enough wind in Oklahoma  
>To rip the nails out of the past<em>

She would avenge her mother's death she resolved as the thunder died down and the rain started a drum beat that sounded like war. She would never be able to bring her mother back, but she sure as hell could have some sort of payback. It was the only goal she had left to her sad existence and after she had finished her business she would be free. Death would not cleanse his sins, no he would pay for them later but she would make him regret ever touching her mother.

_Shatter every window 'til it's all blown away,  
>Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away<br>'til there's nothing left standing,  
>Nothing left of yesterday<br>Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away,  
>Blown away<em>

She dried the tears from her eyes and unraveled her body from the shelter she had created. She had become all skin and bones; her complexion was deadly pale due to the fact that she hadn't stepped outside for a month. Her legs were unsteady as she walked down the streets and alleys. Her dad was gone so it was a simple task to slip out her apartment and make her way to his shop. They called him the Shadow King and he fit that persona perfectly. With his shimmering dark black hair, his clipped monotone voice, his mysterious air, and his own personal shield. Who knew that glasses could prove so useful? She drew her jacket tighter around her as she got closer to the shop and made sure no one was looking as she slipped in.

The shop was dark and damp the windows were boarded up and the door slammed with a finality behind her back. "Hello." She called out stepping deeper into the store, "Is anyone here?" She heard shuffling around before the Shadow King's preppy blonde assistant came into view.

"Hello there, welcome to Otori's Emporium. How can I help you today?" the blonde boy said this all with an overdramatic sweeping of the hand and a twinkle in his eye. She didn't know someone could be so happy working in a shop that sold such gruesome things.

"I need to get rid of someone." She replied carefully taking in the various weapons on display in the shop and the rack of poisons. The blonde boy gave her an amused smile.

"Yes and how exactly would you like to do that?" He asked curiously.

"Poison. I've talked to Mr. Otori about this already, is he in by any chance he knows what I'm looking for."

"Sadly, he is not available at the moment he's dealing with some other clients. Do you have any specifics in mind?"

"He said that it would seem like alcohol poisoning and that it would never be detected."

"Ahhh…I know just what you're looking for." He said stretching up on his tip toes to secure the weapon in his grasp before handing it to her. "Will that be all?"

"Yes than…"

"TAMAKI! GET BACK HERE!" Haruhi jumped as the Shadow King roared.

The blonde gave her a wink, "Be right back," before scuttling off.

Haruhi decided to take her time studying the shop she had been here before when she had talked to Mr. Otori but it was her first chance to really look at everything. She placed her purchase on the counter and examined the skull resting on the edge of it. It looked to real to be a fake but it had to be didn't it? She turned swiftly as the floor creaked, revealing two red-headed twins.

"What's a girl like you doing in here?" The one of the right asked quickly coming up next to her and slinging his arm around her shoulder.

"None of your business." She replied as the other twin quickly came up on her other side and she slipped out of their grasp grabbing her poison. Before they could say another word, he came out.

"Hikaru, Karou I'd appreciate if you'd stop pestering my customers. I apologize for the inconvenience madam. "The twins backed away from her and winked before walking out of the shop. The Shadow King sighed before turning back to her.

"Did Tamaki get you what you wanted?" He asked his eyes peering down at her. She nodded placing her purchase back on the counter. "Good. If you need anything else don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you." She answered quietly her fear of him causing her to be much more reserved. His assistant tapped her on the shoulder and handed her a bag.

"Here you are beautiful. You have five months to pay us back; in installments of course." Haruhi nodded and hurried out of the store and back to her house clutching the small bag to her chest. She needed to do this before her courage failed her. She swung open the door stepping into the living room. She could hear the water running for the shower, good she had made it in perfect time. Crossing the small distance to the kitchen she opened the fridge door, cool air gusting into her face. She wrapped her hand around one of the many beer bottles and popped open the top. She took a deep breath and deftly poured the poison in; she smiled as she watched it dissolve into the beverage. Placing it on the coffee table she retreated to her room. It was now just a matter of time.

_She heard those sirens screaming out  
>Her daddy laid there passed out on the couch<br>She locked herself in the cellar  
>Listened to the screaming of the wind<br>Some people called it taking shelter  
>She called it sweet revenge<em>

It was a little over an hour before it happened. She heard him struggling for breath the air wheezing out of him. Bottles smashed as she curled up in her bed. The echo of his body hitting the ground made the sweet sound of revenge. It was over, all the pain and hurt was over. She was free to live her life, she had avenged her mother's death the scale was balanced. She heard her neighbor knocking on the door she guessed they had heard him falling. She curled even deeper into her blankets feigning sleep as the sirens wailed outside. She was now officially alone.

_Shatter every window 'til it's all blown away,  
>Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away<br>'til there's nothing left standing,  
>Nothing left of yesterday<br>Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away,  
>Blown away<em>

The police found her sobbing in her bed clutching her mother's photograph. They carried her out of the apartment their shoes crunching on the glass as they stepped over the threshold. The past was behind her, every memory of the abuse and suffering she had gone through would be erased from her mind, and the wind would blow it all away. She would never come back here she promised to herself as they placed her carefully in the police car. Her apartment would always be a house of death it would never be a home. There was one more piece of business to take care of before she could close her eyes for good, she still had a debt to pay.

_There's not enough rain in Oklahoma  
>To wash the sins out of that house<br>There's not enough wind in Oklahoma  
>To rip the nails out of the past<em>

Shatter every window 'til it's all blown away (blown away)  
>Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away (blown away)<br>'til there's nothing left standing,  
>Nothing left of yesterday (blown away)<br>Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away,

Blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away

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><p><em><strong>Please, please, please review! I can't write unless y'all submit a song. You can suggest any song in the world with any pairing you want. Thank you all so much.<strong>_

_**~Bluerayne**_


	12. Viva la Vida

_**A thousand hugs to 1andOnlyJanae for suggesting this weeks chapter. This one just flowed right out of me and this is the fastest update I've ever done! I hope y'all like it. I apologize for any confusion with the font the lyrics are not part of the letter. **_

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><p><strong>Viva la Vida- Coldplay<strong>

_My dearest son,_

_I used to rule the world _

_Seas would rise when I gave the word_

_Now in the morning I sleep alone_

_Sweep the streets that I used to own_

I was the king. I had climbed the ladder of the business chain, overcome every challenge in my way and I now had the freedom to prop my feet up on my cherry wood desk and stare down at the pathetic people who would never have my power. I was renowned in my field, I could have made anyone do anything and they would with a smile on their face. I had had everything I wanted money, power, a nice car, a beautiful wife and children that I loved deeply. Then suddenly I didn't. She was gone, torn away from me; the only woman who had ever made me feel anything close to love was dead. She left me to wake up alone, tangled in the cold sheets of our bed. After that, I decided I would stop feeling. Love was a weakness I could no longer afford.

_I used to roll the dice_

_Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes_

_Listen as the crowd would sing, _

"_Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!" _

I had spent all my time at work after her death. I had poured all my energy into building the grandest empire the world had ever seen. Everyone I knew feared me, even my own children. No one would dare disobey my command. I had made this family's name into something so deadly just saying it made people quake in fear. The nameless crowd of people who belonged in my world held party after party for me, congratulating my brilliance and remarking on how amazing my children were. Basically, they were doing everything in their power to kiss up to me and I reveled in it. I had toppled them all and they were rewarding me for it. That is until you showed me your power.

_One minute I held the key,_

_Next the walls were closed on me._

_And I discovered that my castles stand, _

_Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand._

My pride and joy were and have always been my sons, you all were the only thing I had left and I demanded nothing but excellence from you. You were my favorite of course, but as the youngest son you would have to go above and beyond all expectations. You would have to outsmart me if you wanted the empire I had created and that was no mean feat. Except, you didn't want my empire after you met that commoner girl. She had changed you just like my dear wife had made me into a better person she made you stronger and challenged you to defy me and I encouraged it. I wanted you to have the same kind of love that I once had I only wished it didn't destroy you. When I received the news that an anonymous buyer had purchased the company I knew immediately it was you and I was shocked that the empire I had spent decades building was so weak as to be bought by a high school student. Albeit, you are my son but still it seemed pathetic, and then to have the nerve to sell the very company back to me made me proud beyond words.

_I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing_

_Roman Calvary choirs are singing_

_Be my mirror, my sword and shield_

_My missionaries in a foreign field_

I knew my time was coming, the doctor had told me I only had a few months left and there was only one thing left to do. I had already your brother,Yuuichi, would be the successor of my company after you had shown me that you were going to be so much more. I had arranged for all my possessions and money to be equally distributed between you all the only deed I had left to do was make sure that you won the heart of Ms. Fujioka. I was going to make sure that you had every weapon available; every trick in the book would be at your disposal. I made sure my vast network watched her daily and made sure to note everything of interest on the young girl that would soon become an Ootori if I had anything to do with it.

_For some reason I can't explain_

_Once you go there was never_

_Never an honest word_

_And that was when I ruled the world._

I could never explain to anyone how much I had loved my wife. How she was my whole world how I revolved around her. Everyone just knew that I loved her more than anything. It was the way I looked at her, like she was the only thing worth having. It was the way I hung on every word she uttered, never wanting her silky voice to stop enrapturing me. Love was all a lie though, that was the price of being the king. You had lose everything warm and worth having to get everything cold.

_It was the wicked and wind _

_Blew down the doors to let me in_

_Shattered windows and the sound of drums _

_People couldn't believe what I'd become._

It took a loss so great to make me into the cold calculating monster I had become. I was a shell of myself and I could never go back. My heart had been ripped out of me and there was a hole in my chest keeping me from joining her. How ironic it was that my heart was the thing that was going to be the end of me. I think her parents knew from the start that I would be this person, but they wanted their daughter to be happy and so they let us marry each other. They were the only ones not surprised to see me change into such an unlovable person. I know now that if your mother could see me now she would hate the person I've become. She would have never said I do to this calculating and cruel soul. Grief had crushed me, had piled stone after stone on me and buried me in this blank gray world. I was comfortable here; after making my bed in this colorless existence for so long that it was abnormal for me to feel happiness again but I was happy when you won her heart. Yet that will not stop the masses from dancing on my grave when I sink into the ground.

_Revolutionaries wait _

_For my head on a sliver plate_

_I'm just a puppet on a lonely string_

_Oh who would ever want to be king?_

I know they are all waiting with bated breath for the day when the great Otoori will crumble into dust. I know they will pretend to mourn while they secretly rejoice in their homes. They will clink their glasses and give toast at my funeral while they laugh behind your back. Being king may give you riches but it is still not perfect. Yes I was king: the face of financial, medical, and even recreational business success but I was still just that- a face. Now I understand why you did not want this. Who would ever want this bleak lonely space?

_I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing _

_Roman cavalry choirs are singing_

_Be my mirror, my sword and shield_

_My missionaries in a foreign field_

I can see the grim reaper waiting in the corner. I hear the beating of my heart slow and finally stop and I my lungs struggle to bring in oxygen. When he takes his final swing I will sink to the floor, lay my head down on the freshly vacuumed beige carpet. I will close my eyes and see the angles your mother among them smiling down at me. I hope I have not failed you my son. I have tried to explain to you my actions. I have tried to paint you a picture of how I have become the person you feared. I have tried to be your protector and your warrior in this world and I know I've done that job to the best of my ability. My time is over now. The world is yours to rule. I will not leave you my empire nor this house. I can only leave you with this: Love is the only thing worth having.

_For some reason I can't explain _

_I know Saint Peter won't call my name, _

_Never an honest word _

_But that was when I ruled the world._

_ Love,_

_ Your father_

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><p><strong><em>Thank y'all so much for reviewing it means the world to me. Please keep the suggestions coming and spread the word. I'm open to all ideas! <em>**

**_~Bluerayne_**


	13. Everytime We Touch

I'm sorry I took so long to update life has been keeping me busy. Thanks to XxPremenitionxX for suggesting this chapters song!

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><p><em>Everytime we touch-Cascada<em>

_**This is Karou Hitachiin, I'm not available right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you.**_

Karou…It's me, Haruhi. I just... I'm sorry, but I think I owe you this explanation. I know that I've hurt you, but I just want to try and explain it to you, so that maybe you can find it in your heart to forgive me for hurting you so much. I know that you probably don't care about what I have to say, but nevertheless it needs to be put out there.

It didn't seem like it was over. I had been anticipating it for so long that it was unreal to not have him beside me. I could still hear his steady breathing beside me as I fell asleep each night. His imprint was still there in the bed. I could feel the outline of his head in the pillow. I could still hear him turning this way and that as he tried to drift to sleep. I could still feel his arm wrapping around my waist, clutching me closer to his bare chest. I could still feel him kissing my neck, as we closed our eyes and drifted to peaceful dreaming. I knew that it was coming, it was inevitable but I still wanted him back from you. I knew you two shared a strong bond that I could never be a part of, but Hikaru and I had a bond too, and I still wanted that. I always thought I was so strong. I'm a lawyer we're supposed to be a rock wall, but I'm just like every other lovesick girl. I'm sorry Karou that I couldn't stop myself from taking him away, but I can't survive without him. I think you understand don't you? You were always the more sympathetic twin; I'm hoping you still are.

I think you know that his touch leaves you craving for more. His kisses make you feel like you can fly. His lips are like a drug that you are hopelessly addicted to. Your heart races whenever he's near and you can't let go. You beg him not to stop because with him you're invincible. You can do anything or be anyone. It makes you feel powerful and yet you're so powerless to stop it. You need him, once you've had him you can't stop. You're a druggie for his touch, his voice, the way he makes you laugh. You know all this already, don't you?

You know that when you are in his arms that nothing can hurt you. He is your shield and you are impenetrable. He will do anything to protect you. When you are his he is yours. His heart beats for your pleasure. You can make him kill for you and that control over someone makes you dizzy. Whenever you're upset or hurting he makes it better. I remember one time when I was crying on our kitchen floor and I had burned dinner he came in with a bag of takeout and a dozen daises and it was perfection. I know I betrayed you Karou. I know that the three of us were best friends and I not only took your brother away but I ruined our friendship in the process, but I hope that you can forgive me. It's just, me and Hikaru have been through so much together that we can't just forget about it now.

Hikaru and I have dealt with the loss of my father, his feelings for you, and the end of the host club. We've held each other when living was unbearable, when the tears just couldn't stop falling and everything was hopeless. We've been each other's crutch and support and we can't just take that away. We raise each other up and without each other we are bound to fall.

When I'm with him I am the person I want to be. With him the world makes sense again. I can't function without him. All coherent thought would cease and I would just be another lost soul. Our love is unbreakable Karou and nothing can stop it. I know that you think I'm evil and a bitch and if I was you I would think the same thing but if you understand everything I've just said. If you've ever had anything like what Hikaru and I have then you know without it you are nothing. You don't see color or hear sound. It's like magic and you just have to believe in it. You always told me that you wanted him to be happy and I make him happy Karou. When you love someone their happiness is always more important than your own, that was why I let him go back to you in the first place. Then I realized that when he was with you he still couldn't be free your relationship would never be accepted by society and so I took him back. I refused to let him live in a cage no matter how pleasant the inside was. Hikaru needs to be free. If he had stayed with you he would be chained forever but now he can fly. You don't have to call me back, hell you probably have already deleted this message but if you are listening I just wish things could have gone differently because you didn't deserve this. I'm sorry that I never stopped loving him but then again you never have either.

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><p>Thanks also to my lovely beta 1andOnlyJanae! Please keep reviewing;all reviews are appreciated.<p>

Luv you guys,

~Bluerayne


	14. Mi Ultima Carta

I'm getting tired of saying thanks over and over so to spice it up, a truckload of cookies to OtakuThugCx for suggesting this chapter's song and it's in a different language so bonus cookies. The English lyrics are available at the end of the story.

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><p><strong>Mi Última Carta- Prince Royce<strong>

She had grown up without a mother, it was normal plus who was she to complain when she had more than her fair share of uncles. As she reached her sixteenth birthday though she couldn't help but wonder why her mother had left her. It was an ache inside her, her father told her it wasn't her fault and that her mother loved her dearly but she didn't believe all that crap. There had to be a reason and she was determined to find out then this longing inside her would be gone and she could keep living her life.

Her father was away on a business trip for the next two days it was the perfect opportunity to sneak into his office. She had only been in there twice once when she was told her mother left and the second when she had yelled at her Uncle Tamaki for being such an idiot. She eased the door open slowly and crossed the threshold into the room. It was quite Spartan despite the fact that they were rich, there was a bookcase on the right side of the room, a desk in the center filled with pictures of her and her family and the host club and a filing cabinet on the left next to a potted plant. She crossed to the desk and pulled open the drawers the first one she opened held work documents and she quickly continued her search. She was at the last drawer and had almost lost hope when she found a plain white envelope with the word Haruhi written on it in her father's perfect script. This is it she thought to herself before carefully opening the envelope and pulling out the letter within.

My Dearest Haruhi,

I'm sitting here at my desk at two in the morning remembering everything I've ever done to make you leave like this. I've tried to wrap my head around the fact that you are gone without a word to me or our daughter. I keep staring at our closet willing your clothes to appear, I lay in our bed at night thinking if I don't make a sound you'll slip right back in and that this will all be some cruel joke. Yet I know that it's not. I know I made mistakes throughout our relationship from working too much to not telling you how much I loved you and Kotoko but I thought you knew that was who I was. I look down at this letter as the ink dries on the page and I ask myself how you could leave us.

You didn't just leave; you took a mother and a wife away from us. How could you destroy our family? Didn't it mean anything to you? Didn't you at least want to try to work it out? I know that I haven't touched you romantically in months, I know that we've lost our attraction for each other but I thought by addressing those issues we could work them out. I never realized that you wouldn't even want to try. You have taken everything with you my home, my heart, my happiness and you have left coldness. You have left me an empty room filled with nothing but the skeletal remains of what could have been. You have made a dead man.

I never wanted it to end like this. I had envisioned us growing old together surrounded by the family we created. I'm writing this to you because I'm hoping that you still feel the same way and that you will come back. You are the only woman I've ever loved and I can't bear knowing this is the last letter I will ever write to you but I have promised myself that if you don't answer I will forget you. I will never mention your name or bury myself in the possibilities. I will erase you from my life just like you have erased me from yours.

I think this proves that I don't know everything. The woman I thought I knew would never have done this. She would have forgiven me and tried to fix it. The person I loved was an angel. She was perfect in every way, beautiful, kind, calm, powerful, confident, and amazing in every way. I can't put the blame for this failure on someone I can only pray that this is fate. Maybe we never were supposed to stay together maybe our job was to create a real angel and then fade away from each other. I can only hope that I am right.

You know that I never meant to hurt you. Causing you pain is the last thing I ever wanted to do in my life. However, you have hurt me just as much. I had given you everything I had and you didn't want it. I know you never cared about material things; that's one of the reason I married you but I gave you all of that and more and you still left. I still can't help but love you and yet I hate you at the same time.

I tried to make it better. I knew you were unhappy that's why I took you out more, that's why I bought you all that jewelry, that's why I tried to do everything in my power to keep you here by my side. It wasn't enough for you. No one can please you because you are just too far above everyone. You've thrown me out like I'm nothing but a dirty rag. I can't help but be bitter. Every time Kotoko ask were you are, I can't help but hate you.

You will regret this. You will never see your daughter again. I know you will try to win her back but I will never let you win. I will never let you touch our daughter again if you want to leave the only thing you can take is yourself. I will get to watch her grow and change throughout the years. I will be here for every birthday and holiday. I will get to hug her and love her and you will be alone. You will die knowing that while your mother left you, you left your own daughter by choice and that will kill you my beloved. When you realize that you will understand how much I have suffered. If you ever try to contact her I will destroy your life I will burn your heart like you've burned mine; but it doesn't have to end like this.

There is no reason why it should end like this. Why something so simple should cause such a break down in our relationship. This doesn't have to be the last letter I write to you. If you come back we can burn this and pretend we never stopped loving each other. We can give our daughter the parents she deserves instead of a father who will never love again and a mother that she will never lay eyes on again. She deserves that much from us. I will never understand if you ignore this letter if you throw away every blessing you've been given. I never meant for this to end Haruhi and I will always love you.

I know your answer already though. You would never have left if it wasn't truly over. I can feel it deep in the pit of my stomach that this letter will never be opened and you will never know how I tried to win you back. I know I have to stop loving you even though my heart still aches just at the mention of your existence and I know that the pain I feel now will one day fade but it is still fresh, the blood has not clotted and the scar has not yet appeared. I know it's already done that there is no hope but I can't help but try to call you back my dearly beloved.

Kyoya

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><p>Lyrics in english:<p>

It's already two in the morning and I'm still here

Writing this letter for you  
>Just thinking about everything that happened<br>And about the mistakes I did during that love

How could it be possible that my wife left me  
>My home, my soul, she destroyed everything<br>Cold is the only thing I got left in this room  
>I'm a dead man<p>

And I don't know why this novel ended like this (like this)  
>I put my story on paper and I give it to you (to you)<p>

And my dearly beloved  
>This is the last letter I'll write to you<br>My last letters before I forget about you[1]  
>How is it possible that you don't know how to forgive?<p>

And my dearly beloved  
>I'll blame this failure on destiny<br>I swear I never meant to hurt you  
>And even though you are leaving<br>Forever, I will love you (I will love you)

And after all, I have tried to fix the situation  
>But you throw me out just like you would a worthless dog<br>Each passing minute resentment poisons me  
>When I see your face, my hatred just increases<p>

I know that in the end you will regret this  
>You will realize how much I suffered<br>When you come back I won't be here anymore  
>And I wonder<p>

And I don't know why this novel ended like this (like this)  
>I put my story on paper and I give it to you (to you)<p>

And my dearly beloved  
>This is the last letter I'll write to you<br>My last letters before I forget about you[1]  
>How is it possible that you don't know how to forgive?<p>

And my dearly beloved  
>I'll blame this failure on destiny<br>I swear I never meant to hurt you  
>And even though you are leaving<br>Forever, I will love you (I will love you)

I will love you

And I don't know why this novel ended like this (like this)  
>I put my story on paper and I give it to you (to you)<p>

And my dearly beloved  
>This is the last letter I'll write to you<br>My last letters before I forget about you[1]  
>How is it possible that you don't know how to forgive?<p>

And my dearly beloved (No, no, no, no, no)  
>My dearly beloved (Ayayayaay)<br>My dearly beloved (I don't love you anymore)  
>My dearly beloved (I won't come back to this place)<br>My dearly beloved (Ohh)  
>My dearly beloved<br>My dearly beloved (And even if it hurts me)  
>My dearly beloved (It's already over)<p>

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><p>I hope y'all liked it. A huge hug to my beta without her commas would be everywhere but the places they need to be. Everyone who suggest a song will get their favorite virtual dessert so please send them in.<p>

Love y'all

~Bluerayne


	15. Dream Taker

I'm so sorry I took so long to update I was on vacation and thus had no computer access. A huge box of smores to loves2readandwrite for suggesting this chapter's song.

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><p>Dreamtaker- Bruno Mars<p>

Her dark brown eyes fluttered closed; darkness cradling her body as it succumbed to exhaustion. She hadn't slept in days and her body had finally run out of energy, tonight he would come she was sure of it. He was called the Shadow King but his real title was Dream taker. He feasted upon dreams and more importantly fear. It was his job to drain all the happiness in life and replace it with nightmares. Yet, he was charming and his mystery only attracted her more. She would spend countless hours thinking about him, how his lips would feel on hers, how his hands would feel roaming her body like he roamed her dreams. She had trusted him once, before she had gained her knowledge. She had given him everything and would have become a shade- a shell with no emotion, if not for the dream maker. He was the only one strong enough to defeat the shadow king. Her dream tonight would be their battlefield and the winner would determine her fate. She knew the fight would not be easy blood would be shed on both sides and she knew the dream taker would use all his resources to capture her. He had been so close to succeeding and now she would have to face his wrath.

It started like it always did; she was with him before she realized his persona was all a lie. They were sitting in the park having a picnic and she was laughing at something he said. The sky was bright blue without a single cloud and the birds chirped softly in the background it was a perfect day. She thought that she was in love with him, that he was the man of her dreams even as the sky drew darker above them and he seemed to get larger and larger. His darkness was something she could banish if she tried hard enough, that is until he revealed that he was a monster. The wind whirled around them, the flowers died and the trees became rotted and shed their leaves what was once a beautiful dream became a nightmare. He loomed over her now, a black shadow surrounding him until all she could see was his eyes turning a deep red and he laughed as she shivered. She tried to run from him but the ground split in two and she was trapped on his side. Fear coursed through her veins and she tried hopelessly to calm down but with him stalking closer to her she couldn't help but be frightened.

Suddenly, a bright light emerged bringing with it her warrior. He would defeat the shadow king. He pushed her behind him and she visibly relaxed, the shadow king fed off her fear and was able to capture her dreams and wishes through that but with the dream maker here she was no longer so scared. The face of the man she had been betrayed by no longer was haunting her nights. She slowly backed away from the pair as they drew their swords. The shadow king had a plain silver blade and it was shrouded by a writhing mass of shadow while the dream maker's blade was gleaming silver and it shone brighter than the sun. The two blades bounced off each other as the pair started fighting she watched on with awe and prayed that the dream maker would win this battle; she could not stand becoming a shade. The dream maker feigned and his blade tore through the dream taker's stomach but he still fought on scratching the dream maker's arm. She saw the golden blood of the dream maker slide down his arm and drip onto the ground, where it landed flowers bloomed. The shadow king swung his blade at her warrior's head but he dodged and rolled behind him plunging his knife in his back and the dream maker fell. His blood was as dark as night and it flowed out of him staining the ground around him as his body slowly faded into ashes. They were the ashes of her fears and doubts and they vanished as she sunk to the ground and closed her eyes peace overcoming her. Finally she was free to hope once more and she felt the lips of her warrior kiss her cheek as she faded away.

She awoke on the couch of the host club Tamaki and the twins were hovering around her and she could hear Kyoya typing on his laptop in the corner. Cracking open her eyes they were immediately drawn to Tamaki's bright violet eyes that visibly flooded with relief as she sat up. "My precious daughter, I was so worried." Tamaki cried hugging her tightly. "Boss let go. Are you feeling okay Haruhi?" Karou asked concern lacing his voice.

"I'm fine." She replied, "What happened?"

"You blacked out." answered Hikaru, "We had to close for the day. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"I'm sorry, I don't even remember fainting."

"This is being added to your debt." Kyoya called out from his section of the room as he closed his lap top and stood up. "I'll take you home."

"What? I'll take her home I'm her daddy."

"Tamaki, I'm sure you agree that her father would be more comfortable with me taking her home plus Haruhi and I have to talk about her debt."

"Fine." Tamaki mumbled and hugged Haruhi once more before leaving the room along with the rest of the host.

"You really don't need to take me home Kyoya-senpai I'm fine now."

"It's my pleasure." He replied and walked out the door not waiting for her to catch up she sighed and grabbed her bag running down the hall until she caught up to him. She saw him smirk as they got into the car and drove off. The ride was mostly silent as they each were caught in their own thoughts. Although she was free, Haruhi still couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding in the air. They pulled up to her house and Kyoya got out and opened her door before she had the chance. "Thanks for the ride senpai."

"You're welcome, Haruhi." He replied and as he ducked back in the car she noticed a red tinge in his eyes. Must be the sun she thought and walked up the steps to her house the battle was far from over.

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><p>Please send in reviews I need them to write the story. Luv y'all!<p>

~Bluerayne


	16. I'll Be

_**A boxful of cake to WindsofDuskSweepThroughMyHai r for suggesting this chapter's song. Now go read. **_

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><p>I'll Be-Edwin McCain<p>

Haruhi's head was resting on my arm as we gazed up the sky full of shining stars. The crickets were creating a symphony around us as the wind blew gently around our bodies. It was the perfect night and I turned my head to look at Haruhi. Her eyes were one of my favorite things about her, they weren't just brown they were full of whispers of many shades. There was a hint of hazel in the corner and a faint glow of green. They were wonderful and they held so many of her emotions, just gazing into them was enough to steal my breath away. Yet at the same time, her eyes could be cold and mysterious. When she wanted they blocked her off from the world and tucked her safe away in her own fortress much like a mountain guarding a village. Haruhi had the great power to only show people what she wanted them to but she was full of layers that I could only hope to explore. As I turned my attention back to the starry night I couldn't help but wish she could give me some sort of reassurance, I knew that I was not one to talk as I barley communicated my feelings at all but she could always read me so easily and I was always lost when it came to her. She had never told me she loved me and that was what kept me from taking the final step and proposing. If she could only say those three words I would become immersed in our life together instead of inevitably waiting for it all to crash and burn.

"What's wrong?" she asked still looking up into the sky.

"Nothing." I mumbled dreading the conversation we would have if she continued to press the issue.

She sighed and rolled over to face me, "I know you're lying. Just tell me what's going on? Is something wrong with Hunny?"

"It's not that. I'm worried about our future together." I replied apprehensively.

"What about our future together?" Haruhi questioned I could sense an edge of annoyance come into her voice.

"It's just that…well you've never told me you love me."

"I didn't think I needed to tell you, I thought you knew. You've never told me you love me." She replied.

"I've shown you plenty of times."

"When?"

"When I held you every night there was a storm and you cried into my shoulder. When I gave up my future in my family so I could move here to America with you. When I stood by you even though we were dirt poor and living off peanut butter and bread. When I told you that you were the most important thing in my life. When…"

"Stop. I get it alright. Look Mori I love you we both know that I'll tell you more often if you need to hear it, I just thought that my actions spoke louder than words." She answered and got up packing away our things.

Little to say I did not propose that night, instead I waited. Lying in bed as rain pounded down on the roof and tears poured down her cheeks, I thought about asking her as she clutched my shirt and it grew damp with her tears. I wrapped my arms around her tightly trying to block out the fear that threatened to overwhelm her. I stroked her soft brown hair lightly and I came to the realization that Haruhi had become everything, she was the reason I woke up every morning and my motivation to get through the day. Yet, I still held back she had continued telling me she loved me for a few weeks after that night in the park but then it had abruptly ended. If she was really committed to me shouldn't it be easier to tell me. Hell I had started telling her I loved her as well and still continued to do so even when I resented her for dragging me to America. I just needed something greater from her to take the plunge that would change my whole life. I knew that she was the only one for me but at the same time I needed to know I was the only one for her.

I had planned for weeks to create the perfect night. I wasn't getting any younger and it was time to propose to Haruhi. Maybe after we were married she would grow more affectionate. She had already given me more than I had ever hoped for just by standing by my side it was time I stopped second guessing her feelings. I had booked a table at her favorite restaurant there were candles on the table and champagne on ice waiting for her to enter. When she walked in I was instantly drawn to her, she was wearing a beautiful black cocktail dress that showed off her features and highlighted the minimal makeup she was wearing. After we had ordered I took her hand and knelt down on the carpeted floor and proceeded to pull out a beautiful diamond ring that had taken me months to save up for. "Oh Takashi." She said tears flooding her eyes.

I smiled up at her, "Fujioka Haruhi will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" I asked.

Her smile faltered and she yanked her hand back abruptly," I can't. I'm so sorry Takashi." She answered and fled from the restaurant and my life leaving me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. My world had ended in that moment, I had become a shell of the person I was with her. I moved back to Japan and immersed myself in training. I rarely spoke and never smiled. Every thought was spent wondering why she rejected me and going over everything she had said for some clue as to what made me unworthy. I was so angry at myself for not being good enough for the woman I loved. I had tried to make her happy to be her world. I had sacrificed so much for her and yet she still didn't want me. Despite all that, I followed her career avidly and still cheered her on silently as she became one of the most prominent lawyers in America. I still wished to hold her every time there was a storm and I never stopped loving her. Even now as I lay here dying I am still waiting for her to tell me she loves me as well.

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><p><em><strong>Please keep sending in reviews they really motivate me not only to write, but to live each day to the fullest and it's nice to know people appreciate my talent. Luv y'all so much!<strong>_

_**~Bluerayne**_


	17. Collide

_**A cart full of kittens to WindsofDuskSweepThroughMyHai r for suggesting this chapter's song. I'm so sorry I took so long to update school has started again so it will take me longer to update. This does contain yaoi so beware. **_

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><p>Collide- Howie Day<p>

_The dawn is breaking  
>A light shining through<br>You're barely waking  
>And I'm tangled up in you, yeah<em>

The sun's rays flooded through the room illuminating the two figures snuggling on the bed. A golden hue surrounded them as they roused from a night of passion. The first of the pair awoke, his light blue eyes flickering open and softening as he gazed upon his companion. The aforementioned shifted and groaned turning away from the bright light that flooded the room. Umehito smiled, this was the first time in his life that he had awoken without immediately rushing for his cloak and wig. Tamaki had made him see that he no longer had to hide behind a mask and that there was nothing to be afraid of. He could feel Tamaki's feet rub against his in a search for warmth and he chuckled softly before wrapping an arm around his lover and burying his head in Tamaki's neck pondering how they had ended up like this.

_I'm open, you're closed  
>Where I follow, you'll go<br>I worry I won't see your face  
>Light up again<em>_  
><em>

They were complete opposites and yet they accepted each other in every way. Tamaki was an open book; he hid nothing and could never stifle his feelings whilst Umehito was completely closed off from the world. He hid in the darkness making sure no one ever got close enough to hurt him that is until he met Tamaki. The king of the host club with his theatric gestures and big heart had won him over instantly. Wherever Tamaki went he would follow, even it meant giving up the person he had been. Yet he couldn't help but be plagued by doubts, he knew it was still early in their relationship but he was worried Tamaki would grow sick of him and leave. Tamaki could have anyone he wanted and Umehito would be the last on the list. He couldn't stand the heart break if he was to be left behind, maybe he could create a spell that would make sure Tamaki would never leave him. Yet, he knew that Tamaki would hate him if he tried to put a spell on him. Tamaki hated dark magic after all Umehito clutched tighter to Tamaki and planted a kiss on his neck. He wanted to do everything in his power to make sure Tamaki was happy even if it meant leaving him at some point, for now he would be happy.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
>Even the wrong words seem to rhyme<br>Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
>I somehow find you and I collide<em>

Tamaki responded enthusiastically and shifted his body so he could plant his lips on Umehito's. The kiss was laced with passion and he pushed his tongue in Umehito's mouth with skill, he tasting the caverns of his companion's mouth hungrily. Reluctantly they broke apart breathing heavily. Tamaki's violet eyes stared deep into the cavern's of Umehito's picking up on his doubts. He caressed Umehito's cheek, "I'm not going to leave you. We are both going to make mistakes and piss each other off but I'm not going to let that get in the way of our love."

Umehito grinned and rolled onto Tamaki his legs straddling him, "I love you Tamaki Souh." He replied before ravishing kisses on his partner's chest. Umehtio felt like he was soaring he was in bed with the man he loved and nothing could ever make him happier. He no longer had to spend his time worrying about the future and Tamaki leaving him because it would never become reality. They had crashed into each other's lives effortlessly and now the collision had forced them to become one. Despite their differences they were now two parts of a whole. As he spread his hands over Tamaki's chest he remembered the moment he had realized he was in love with this beautiful man.

_I'm quiet you know  
>You make a first impression<br>I've found I'm scared to know  
>I'm always on your mind<em>

Tamaki was loud and full of unrestrained energy that his sister Kirimi was immediately attracted to. Tamaki was exactly the type of prince character she had been hoping for, with his charming smile and his caring nature so unlike her real brother. Tamaki's presence filled up a room while Umehito was mainly ignored and he preferred to live in the background but, he loved his sister and so he agreed to try to overcome his fears and embrace the new persona they had in mind. The so called "transformation" was a complete disaster and it only confirmed his decision to stay firmly in the dark. Yet when it came to his sister he would do anything and that was why he had leapt to her defense, despite the fact that the sun could kill him his first priority was his sister. Of course protecting the one you love comes with a price and he was forced to stay in bed for days when Tamaki came to visit him it was a complete shock. His arms were laden with flowers and gifts, from the hosts he said as he laid them on the table. Umehito gazed at him with curiosity there was no logical reason for Tamaki to be here. "Can I help you with something?" Umehito asked.

Tamaki turned to him and smiled awkwardly, "Actually yes it seems that despite my efforts I can't get you off my mind." Umehtio's eyes widened in shock, a million thoughts were whirring around in his head and yet he couldn't form a single coherent sentence instead he just stared at the host club king. Tamaki cleared his throat, "Yes well I hope you feel better soon and just forget I said anything. I can see you don't return my affections." As the blonde strode to the door, Umehito reached a hand out trying to clutch the boy back to him but unable to do so, "Wait!" he cried out stopping the host in his tracks.

"I don't know what to say," Umehito began, he knew that he was attracted to the blonde but he didn't know yet if it was love he had been hurt before and he didn't think he could go through that again, yet as he watched Tamaki fidget he knew that he really cared for him and no one had cared about him in so long that maybe it was worth a try. "I like you to Tamaki."

"You do?" Tamaki asked excitedly throwing his body onto the bed Umehito laid on.

Umehito nodded, "Yes, surprisingly I do." Tamaki smiled widely and clutched Umehito's hand lacing their fingers together before swopping in for a kiss. Umehtio was jolted from his memories when Tamaki bit down sharply on his ear, Umehito looked down into his eyes and saw the pure love in them and he continued showering his affections upon Tamaki.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
>Even the stars refuse to shine<br>Out of the back you fall in time  
>I somehow find you and I collide<em>

Yes, Umehito rationalized there would be plenty of falling outs and arguments but the love they had for each other would only strengthen as time went on. The world was their playground and they had years and years before them to explore it. They had already overcome the hardest test and as they truly became one he knew that nothing would ever break them apart. The sky could fall, the oceans could flood the world, the stars could stop shining but none of that would separate them. They would always find their way back into each other's arms.

_Don't stop here  
>I lost my place<br>I'm close behind_

Tamaki moaned as he came soaking the sheets and Umehito's stomach and Umehito was not far behind. They pulled apart and Tamaki groaned as he glanced at the clock, "I have to go." He said but buried himself further into Umehito's side. "Don't worry we have plenty of time, this doesn't end here." Umehito said pushing Tamaki off the bed to land on the floor. Tamaki quickly gathered himself and dressed quickly. "I have something for you before you leave."

Tamaki lit up, "What is it?" he asked jumping up and down like a child.

"It's not much." Umehito responded before handing him a voodoo doll of himself. Tamaki accepted it graciously but Umehito could see he was confused. "It's a voodoo doll of me. This way you own me completely and we can always find each other."

"I love it. Thank you." Tamaki replied giving him one last kiss before leaving him.

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
>Even the wrong words seem to rhyme<br>Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
>You finally find you and I collide<em>

"Sir wake up." Umehito's maid said gently shaking his shoulder. Umehito awoke with a start disappointment flooding him as he realized it had all been a dream. He got dressed and ready for school quickly and efficiently. As he walked down the halls of Ouran tears welled up in his eyes, Tamaki would never love him. Distracted by his thoughts he slammed right into the man he had been thinking about.

"Sorry. Oh, senapi are you feeling okay?" Tamaki asked noticing the tears about to fall from Umehito's eyes. He roughly wiped them away and continued down the hall without answering.

"Senpai wait!" Tamaki called grasping his arm and stopping him in his tracks. "It's my job as a host to ensure everyone's happiness. Please tell me what's wrong."

"You're what's wrong!" Umehito erupted the tears that had been threatening to spill flowing freely now as he wrenched his arm from Tamaki's grasp.

"What?" Tamaki responded trying to figure out what he had done.

"Don't you see I'm in love with you. I knew you were stupid but I didn't think you were this oblivious. Didn't you realize that's why I let Kirmi get close to you so I could get closer as well?"

"You..you love me?" Tamaki asked

Umehito nodded he was shocked at himself for saying so much and he clutched his cloak tighter around him trying to shield himself from the inevitable let down.

"I had no idea senpai, I…well I think I may be in love with you as well."

_You finally find you and I collide  
>You finally find you and I collide<em>

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><p><em><strong>SEND IN REVIEWS! Not only will you get my love but you get an awesome virtual thank you. <strong>_

_**~Bluerayne**_

_**P.S. I've recently started a blog on tumblr called ohshcmadness so go check it out if your interested. **_


	18. I Wish You Love

**_Hey y'all I wrote a short little fic to try and revive this story. I will not be updating at all unless I get some reviews. I'd like to thank everyone for reading this so far and I really hope that I can keep this going. _**

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><p><em>I Wish You Love- Rachel Yamagata<em>

We came from two different worlds. He was rich, beautiful, talented, and above all else unattainable. While I was an average commoner, not even worthy of the slightest glance. Yet he lavished me with his attention, begging me to accept his ridiculous displays of affection. At times I just wanted to punch him but I couldn't bear to hurt him. He was everything the sun, the moon, the stars and I was sure that if I told him of my feelings that I would become swallowed up by his supernova. If I married him I would ruin him and thus I would ruin myself. He was not destined to marry a low-class member of society and I was lucky to even know him let alone call him my friend. I knew that we could never be together so when he asked me to be his I wrapped my arms around his neck and poured out all my love in a long bruising kiss and then I told him no.

Years had passed since that day. I was sitting at the kitchen table only half listening to the news when I heard his name. My spoon hit the ceramic tiled floor with a resounding pang; it was the sound of my heart shattering into a thousand pieces. I wasn't angry at him. I wanted him to have everything even when it meant I couldn't. I wanted him to find someone that would raise him up instead of letting him fall. Nonetheless, at least I could pretend he was mine when he wasn't married. I quickly turned off the news and stared into the blackness of its depths wishing that I could have said yes to him. My heart clenched tightly in my chest asking me to do the unthinkable and tell him that I was wrong all those years ago but my mind reminded me it was impossible. Then the phone rang breaking me out of my reverie and I hurried to pick it up.

"Hello."

"Haruhi."

My hands started shaking as soon as I heard his velvety smooth voice and I nearly dropped the phone, "Tamaki-senpai." I replied flashes of memories played before my mind and I squeezed my eyes shut trying to drown them out and stop the tears from falling.

"Haruhi! How are you? I missed you so much. Kyoya told me that you got accepted into graduate school! Of course, I always knew that you would."

" Stop." I said, this was to much god. Why couldn't I have been born into his world or better yet never have met him at all. Was this some sort of punishment or a cosmic joke just to play with my life.

"What's wrong?"

"I.. I have to go."

"What Haruhi, don't leave yet." He whined. Even now he was still acting like a petulant child.

" I saw the announcement."

"That's what I'm calling you about. I wanted to personally tell you the news and invite you."

My mouth got dry I could barely breath and silence rang out between us.

"Haruhi are you still there?"

"Yes," I answered steadily preparing myself for the words I would have to say," Congratulations senpai. I really must be off." I finished my windpipe startinf to choke with tears.

"But Har..." Click. I set the phone down on its stand and sank to the floor a steady stream of water dripping down my face.

The next day I crawled out of the hole of self-pity I had buried myself in and hurried off to work. My co-workers greeted me cheerfully and I returned their hellos with a terse smile. Making my way to my office, I shut the door quickly and sank in my chair only to spot the pristine white wedding invitation sitting on my desk. So this is it I thought. After my breakdown yesterday, I had resolved to look at the situation logically and separated myself from all emotion. I grabbed a piece of parchment from my desk and started to write letting go of him through my writing.

Dear Tamaki,

_I wish you bluebirds in the spring__  
><em>_To give your heart a song to sing_

_And then a kiss, but more than this__  
><em>_I wish you love_

_And in July a lemonade__  
><em>_To cool you in some leafy glade__  
><em>_I wish you health__  
><em>_And more than wealth__  
><em>_I wish you love_

_My breaking heart and I agree__  
><em>_That you and I could never be__  
><em>_So with my best__  
><em>_My very best__  
><em>_I set you free_

_I wish you shelter from the storm__  
><em>_A cozy fire to keep you warm__  
><em>_But most of all when snowflakes fall__  
><em>_I wish you love__  
><em>

_But most of all when snowflakes fall__  
><em>_I wish you love_

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><p><strong><em>To all my followers and reviewers you guys have helped shape me so much as a writer and have really inspired me to keep pursuing my aspirations. I love you guys so much!<br>_****_~Bluerayne_**


	19. Clarity

Wow so I haven't written one of these in a while. Forgive me for any characterization issues it's been a while since I last watched/read ohshc and I'm very rusty. Thanks to the anon who requested this chapter I hope it meets your standards. The perspectives switch back and forth so be on the look out for that.

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><p>Clarity-Zedd<p>

NekozawaxRenge

_High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life_

_Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time_

_Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends_

_A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again_

I've always craved the darkness. It wasn't just that the sunlight hurt me physically, but I never thought that the light could be a healing thing. Light did not carry the connotation of grace for me. No, light was evil. It burned and destroyed. That's why I hid my blonde hair with a black wig and I wore my cloak everywhere. Then I learned to crave her. She was like the sun personified, full of happiness and smiles. I wanted to destroy her.

I was sick of the stupid host club and there ridiculous antics. I would never win over Kimmy's heart. She was too pure. Renge came out of nowhere. How did the host club even afford to have all this machinery? Her laugh was irritating and pounded into my head like an incessant screeching as she continued to talk. She was dressed in some frankly stupid outfit and I wondered how any of the guys could tolerate her presence, especially Kyoya. Then again, I thought as I took a second look, she was the type of person you just wanted to drag in the mud. She looked so polished and precise. So used to getting everything her way you just wanted to break that smile on her face into a million pieces. I smiled; I knew just the curse to ruin her life.

_'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need  
>Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why<em>

He was unlike anyone I had ever loved. Yes Kyoya was considered the Shadow King but Nekozawa took it to the next level. He couldn't even stand sunlight on his skin and I couldn't understand why my heart jumped every time he was around. There was no logic to this intense longing I felt for him. I just wanted to rip off that stupid cloak and wig and reveal his true beauty to the world. Yet, there was also a part of me that wanted to be the only one to know what he was truly like under the mask he portrayed. He was everything I wasn't and I wanted to win him more than any video game.

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
>If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?<em>

I watched her silently in the shadows as she wormed her way into the most coveted position in the school. Every girl wanted to be her and every guy wanted her but none of them could compete with the intensity of my desires to push her off her pedestal. I had been planning to place my curse on her for weeks and now it was time. The host club was having a party and with all the people in the room it would be easy for me to slip in and out without anyone noticing. She was talking to one of the many eligible young bachelors at the dance this evening her glass of wine flippantly held in her hand. I quickly poured my potion into her drink and fled the scene before anyone had noticed my presence. Sleep was almost impossible that night as I waited for tomorrow and the potion to kick in.

The host club was canceled today due to the party yesterday. Everyone was too tired to act and plus the party was a huge success and everything went exactly like I had planned it. Even Kyoya looked happy due to all the money we had made. But I wasn't happy. Even with the host club under my control and every boy in the school flirting with me it wasn't enough. I wanted something more. Something that my dad's money couldn't buy. Suddenly, I felt woozy and everything went foggy. My head was pounding uncontrollably and I cried out from the sheer pain. I could hear Haruhi asking me what was wrong but I couldn't even form the words to answer. My neurons were on fire as was my entire body. I felt so hot, like the sun was on fire inside me. I just wanted to be wrapped in darkness. A darkness where the sun could never reach me and the fire would stop burning. Then everything went black.

_Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends  
>It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense<br>_

I was watching through the door to music room 3 when it happened. It seemed she was having quite a sever reaction to my potion and a flash of guilt went through my head before I shook it off. It was time to put the next part of my plan into action. She would no longer be able to stand the sun like me. She would have to wear a cloak and hide herself from the daylight. When she finally fainted I pushed the door open and cleared my throat. "Back away."

"What's wrong with her?" Haruhi asked pushing back the rests of the host in order to give Renge some space to breath.

"She has been cursed." I replied mysteriously. The audible gasp I heard almost made me laugh.

"We must find the one who has cursed her!" Yelled Tamaki. He always had to act so valiant. They would never discover it had been me who had cursed her and it would be me who would keep her forever.

"I may be able to cure her." I answered. "I'll need to take her back to my club and we won't rest until this curse has been lifted." The host clapped as I finished my heroic speech and carried Renge back to my lair. I placed her upon a couch and waited until she woke up. I had already prepared a cloak for her to wear, now it was only a matter of time until she would become like me. Never again would she be able to stand in the spotlight. She would be the ultimate creature of darkness and the Renge that everyone knew would be just a memory.

_Don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose  
>If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you<br>_

My held felt like someone was drilling into my skull and my eyes felt much to heavy to open but the promise of water to fill my parched mouth made it worth the effort. As I cracked my eyes open I was pleased to note that the room was in complete darkness. Just the thought of light made me want to wince.

"Hello." I called out my voice coming out in a whisper due to the fact that I had probably been out cold for quite a few hours. I struggled to remember how I had arrived at this point but the last thing I recalled was being in music room 3 and then burning. I felt someone hand me water and nearly jumped out of skin before shrieking, "Holy shit!"

"Sorry." The mysterious figure said, "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Well next time you should announce your presence before you just appear out of no where." I answered angrily gulping down the water in the cup.

I was taken aback by the sheer strength of Renge's will. She had no idea what had happened or where she was yet, she still asserted her dominance over me, her captor. "You have been cursed by the great Beelzenef." I began to explain before she cut in rudely.

"I don't believe in curses." She scoffed, "What's actually going on?"

"You have been cursed." I reaffirmed, "You can no longer freely move through light."

"That's not possible." She replied her disbelief evident in her voice. Instead of answering, I pulled open the drapes making sure I was well protected by my own cloak. I watched as the curse began to take its effect on her.

At first there was nothing-just sunlight streaming in the room and revealing where I was. I assumed this was the black magic club since Nekozawa was here and there was a statue of his bizarre cat puppet on the table next to me. Then suddenly I began to feel the same burning sensation I felt before I had fainted in the host club. It rapidly grew from discomfort to agony and I shouted, "Close the blinds!" My order was followed and as darkness enveloped the room once again I was filled with relief.

"You have to fix this." I said.

"There is no way to break the curse. Trust me I have tried many times on myself."

"I'm not you. There has to be a way. I refuse to walk around wearing a cloak all the time."

"What do you expect me to do?"

"I don't know, you're the magical one here figure something out." There was no answer and Nekozawa and I were left to contemplate my fate in silence. How was I supposed to leave this room when the threat of the sun was out there? And yet how was I supposed to live my life without coming into direct contact with light other than wearing that hideous cloak. Although now that I thought about it, I could really pull of a lot of characters I had wanted to cosplay. Yes, I resolved I would make this curse work for me but I would make sure Nekozawa still looked for a cure, I didn't want to spend my whole life like this.

"That settles it then." I said breaking Nekozawa from his own thoughts.

"What?" he questioned

"You'll look for the cure and I'll get to work re-designing my wardrobe."

I was astonished to say the least; I was supposed to be commanding her not the other way around. This was not going at all according to plan and yet I felt a strange feeling begin to blossom in my chest. Her resolve to beat this curse was inspiring. I had assumed she would bow down to her fate as I had, but instead she was treating this like a small hiccup in her life. I knew for certain there was no cure to the curse I had placed on her just as there was no cure to my sickness but maybe with her, I could begin to see this illness in a positive light. She left the room with a flourish taking the cloak I had purchased for her with her and I was left alone with my two greatest companions: darkness and quiet.

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
>If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?<br>_

I had spent all night updating my wardrobe and even buying a few things for Nekozawa. If I was going to spend my time with him he would have to look good. With my new outfit on I entered music room three and was immediately swamped by the boys. "Are you okay?" "What happened?" "Why are you wearing a cloak?"

"Quiet!" I ordered and briefly explained what had befallen me I then bid them adieu and went in search of Nekozawa. He was exactly where I had left him yesterday.

"Try these on." I said throwing him the new clothes I had chosen for him. His flabbergasted look made me laugh and I smiled as he excused himself to try on the outfits I had selected. I sighed heavily, I missed the sunshine on my face but at least now I had found a practical reason to buy all those cute parasols I wanted. When Nekozawa came out in the new clothes I couldn't breathe. He looked almost as hot as the host club and I felt a blush creep up my face.

"This looks horrible." I said feeling awkward and uncomfortable in the clothing she had gotten for me. I looked like a member of the host club expect with darker clothing and a hood to cover my face from the sun.

"You look amazing." She replied without even a hint of flattery. To her that was a fact, one that I must accept much like I had accepted everything else she demanded of me.

"I can't wear these." I began.

"If you want to hang out with me you are." There was no room for argument and I didn't even bother to fight. Plus, part of me was glad to see her happy and I felt guilty that I had ruined her life in the first place. I had wanted her to topple from her pedestal but it seemed that even now she was still on one and it would take more than a curse to stop that. It was just part of who she was and I had wanted to break her like I had been broken. But now, she was opening my eyes to the fact that despite this malady I could still live a normal life albeit with weirder clothing.

"You're amazing." I said before I could even stop myself. "I mean…uh..What I meant to say was"

His words caused a shiver to run down my body and an overwhelming desire to press my lips against his bloomed inside me. His embarrassment was adorable and I decided to give into the urge. "Shut up Nekozawa." I answered before bounding across the room and steering us onto the couch. We landed with me pretty much straddling his lap.

"What are you doing?" Nekozawa asked and I answered by kissing him, the soft press of my lips against his muffled his words.

I had never been kissed before and I had never expected to. Intimacy was not something I spent much time thinking about but now that she was kissing me I never wanted it to stop. I couldn't even fathom why we hadn't been doing this since the beginning. Then the guilt hit me. I had placed this burden on her and now she was kissing me. I didn't deserve her affections and she deserved the truth before we went any further. I pushed her off me and stood up from the couch.

"I have to tell you something before this goes any further."

"What's wrong?" Renge asked a slight tremor in her voice.

"I'm the reason you're cursed." I said quickly before I could think about taking it back and kissing her again.

"But I thought you said it was Beelzenef."

"I lied. I just… I wanted you to be like me. I was jealous and angry and stupid. I'm sorry."

I shook my head in protest as tears streamed down my face all I wanted was to go back to how everything was before this curse. How could he be so evil? And how could I be so stupid as to trust him? I turned to flee but Nekozawa grabbed my arm before I could leave. "Let me go!" I screamed wrenching my arm from his grip. I could hear him screaming my name but I continued to run out into the sunlight and this time the burning was a welcome sensation.

_'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need_

_Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why_

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><p>Thanks so much for reading! If you'd like to keep this story going just send me a review with a song or pairing you'd like to see. Have a great day!<p> 


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